I used to think so slowly of myself. That I wasn't capable of being great. The past that controlled me, define me, that somehow become part of who I am. It was deeply engraved, and it still lingers in me, depriving every choice I made. For the past years of being my old self, fear was the only main thing that's controlling me.
I know, I was weak to admit that I still comprehend too little and made less effort to navigate my focus on what is essentially lacking. However, it was funny how the universe kept teaching me hard lessons. Waves of emotions kept crashing, dragging me back and forth again and again until I understood the meaning behind it. Until I established a solid sense of beliefs and wisdom, routines and lessons to share.
Every story was unique for the world to hear, to motivate, hope and for some, lights a way for them to be able to identify the first step. Powerful experiences have a way of finding its host, which can bear huge tasks to be used as testimonies. This is also why people who came from a volatile world has the best stories if not a good life, but a worth sharing experience full of lessons to impart.
I know deep down that I am taking this journey because I was meant to be a survivor. Although, the harsh reality I am in doesn't always deserve this part of me, I am meant to be forged this way for a purpose. Though I still can't understand it all, I believe it will come when it's time for me to know.
I feel now that I always want to seek. I am curious, I am so grateful for the uncomfortable times this world put me through where I have no choice but to shift. The death cycles which revealed my unseen shadows. My soul is starting to recognize the bizarre and magical woman in me. My heart was able to extend to unimaginable capacity of understanding, self-forgiving and.... I started to know me. All the experiences along it, the things that has been happening was my path of BECOMING.
It was building who I really am all along.